Half hearted
I hate the half smiles on people’s faces
The face that’s really just say’s, “ I really don’t care about you”
Really every one has this face.
You could
You could just cost.
You could just go around asking other opinions
You could just make your self-think that what they say is important
You could go on believing that you are them and they are you
JACK BE SAFER
Jack fell in love
Jack fell out of love
Jack fell in love
Jack became father
Jack became a man
Jack fell off the roof
Jack became a baby
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Winding woods
Have you ever drank so much wine that in the morning, your mouth is a bright blood red. You can’t tell if you bit your tongue, or if you really just drank that much cheap red wine. I have. It came in a box too.
All I wanted to know was how did this happen. My feet are black and I don’t think I even slept, did I?
I remember walking, walking in the woods. With that stupid little box of red wine. It reminded me of a juice box, you know the hand held once you squeeze to hard and you spray all over your self.
I remember at the end of the woods, stopping and seeing a wonderful thing,
just now if I could remember.
Have you ever drank so much wine that in the morning, your mouth is a bright blood red. You can’t tell if you bit your tongue, or if you really just drank that much cheap red wine. I have. It came in a box too.
All I wanted to know was how did this happen. My feet are black and I don’t think I even slept, did I?
I remember walking, walking in the woods. With that stupid little box of red wine. It reminded me of a juice box, you know the hand held once you squeeze to hard and you spray all over your self.
I remember at the end of the woods, stopping and seeing a wonderful thing,
just now if I could remember.
gfgfjghhjjjChnge
Story time (you make this s**t up)
So it was what it was. I was lying on my belly half naked in the bed of some guy I met about 7 hours before. Who does this, how did I get here? What’s this guys name? I just kept repeating in the back of my head.
I remember looking up at the clock, blinking reds hurt my eyes after a long enough night. It was blinking 4:00am, more then likely it was wrong and I didn’t care. All I knew was I needed to get back from where I came from. Wait, where did I start?
I just wanted to remember.
On my back now smoking a cigarette just starring at the ceiling trying to get lost, trying to not think about the man staring right at me. Trying to think, how did this get started?
The City was Grand Rapids. I knew this; the time was way too early in the morning. I don’t think I slept, maybe I did? That didn’t matter, I just need to collect my things and get right out of that house.
I looked at the boy, right in the eyes. He had bright blue eyes, I could see why I ended where I ended. I asked him where the bathroom was. As I got up I saw my pants and shirt lying on the ground right at the end of the bed. As I picked them up and put them on and my stomach started to turn. The boy looked at me and asked what was the matter. I looked at him and my face started to get tight. “I think I’m going to get sick” I sprinted to the bathroom, the boy followed. I slammed the door in his face. He must have heard the vomit from my mouth hit the water, because he asked if I needed anything in between it. I only asked for a glass of water. I just wanted to get out of that damn house.
Once I had myself as clean as I could get, I walked out of the bathroom. I started apologizing to the blue-eyed boy. I don’t think he cared that much. He handed me a bottled water. I grabbed my backpack and started walking toward the door. The boy was still in boxers didn’t seem to know what to make of me. Just strange looks. I said, “I’m sorry” and walked out the door Outside, I noticed the sun was coming up.
I knew where I was, and I know I had a long walk ahead of me. Slowly but surely, I started remembering the walk back with the boy. The feeling of being loved. Wondering if I’d ever get anything like that again. Knowing myself, I was sure I would.
I recognized a white house, an old friends house. I wasn’t even sure if the person still lived there, but I walked up and knocked anyways. Timothy Richards. As soon as he opened the door he started laughing, “I knew I was going to see you this morning.”
I could tell he also had a long night. He invited me in for coffee with him and his girlfriend Lisa. Walking in a home is different then walking into a house. When you walk into a house, you don’t have to take off your shoes and some people never even take off their jacket. This, on the other hand, was a home-plus bikes. Although there was a bike in the living room, you knew you still had to take off you shoes. I didn’t have a problem with. This I actually prefer homes to houses. Lisa knew how to keep people in line; it was a nice place to be.
After telling Timothy and Lisa most of what I remember. Two cups of coffee and a little inspiration from both of them, I went on my way to figure out what really happened last night. I started to remember little clues from the night before, faces the color of cups, the size of fires. I checked out my phone, to see the last phone call’s. It looks like I made about 3 calls the night before. One to Josh Crocker, one to Daniel, and one to a number I didn’t recognize 616-552-8858, and who ever that was, was the winner of the first phone call of the day.
I wasn’t nervous until the phone started ringing. Turns out it was just an old friend that lived not too far away. So I walked to Mike’s house, the random number now had a name. So I was now one step closer to finding out what I really had done.
Once there he asked if I wanted to have a picnic. So now heading down town toward all the old fashioned remolded houses, the huge churches, all of the cars on the street just waiting getting hotter and hotter in the insides of them, people walking around with nothing but Ipod head phones in there ears not caring about anything but them self’s. I don’t care about them anyways. Trying to remember if I was down there at all the night before.
And just like a sign from God, Five Lyon. But any God interested in me is one messed up God, I say this only because I remember trashing this little apartment, taking one side of a old futon bed and tossing it out the balcony. As soon as I saw half of the crap on the street. I started laughing. More and more random images starting running threw my head. I started telling Mike about it.
“Well, damn, turns out you did have a good time after all.” He said. I started rambling. “We have to go up there, I have to talk to whosever’s place this is and ask them everything, like, who I was with?”
Once up there I knew where almost everything was, it was strange to think I took part in a complete riot. A girl answered the door. Let’s just say she looked like she was in misery. I concentrated on the things behind her. It looked like everything was shook off the walls; you could see where the pictures used to be in the hallway, but they were lying on the ground, all of the glass shattered. It looked like a hammer had blasted into each of them. I remember walking down the hall. I could almost hear the sounds of a hammer hitting each of the pictures. The worst part was that I did not remember the girl.
I look at the woman “is there anything we could do, we can help you clean this madness up?” For the first time I took a look right into her eyes. Her eyes where throbbing red, as she look up, her eyes just had a shine, the tear started swelling up and almost poured out. This woman had her home destroyed. She had no idea I took a part in this.
The woman looked at me. “I would like that very much.” Her eyes were those of a lost ten year old in a carnival.
I asked her name, Her name was Janet.
As I started to walk through Janet’s home, I started remember all the people, the coffee mugs that the kids were holding. I started to remember placement of people standing. Walking in to the kitchen where I people were pouring shot after shot of whiskey. I wanted to start vomiting. This girl had no idea. I started to ask what happened.
She backed up against the wall and fell straight down to her keens. These tears were not fake, these tears had more sadness, more anger, more hatred I have ever heard in my life. “Two days” she said in a small voice, “two Goodman days” she started to shout. Her tears got heaver. She started to explain, “I moved in a week ago. I went home for 2 days, I haven’t met anyone in this damn building.” She couldn’t look at Mike or I in the eyes. At first I felt terrible. Then after a while I felt like her saint, the person helping this girl out, I one person that stopped and noticed I just made this girl day a little bit brighter. made this girls nightmare come true, and I’m here to save the day.
Nothing mattered at all other then what this girl thought. She thought I was her bright and shining star. Mike had to go to work. I walked him to work, I told him what I was doing. His reply was “You’re one sick person, you know that?” By this time I didn’t care I smiled and kept walking back to Janet’s place. Once there we picked up most everything, as I was putting all of her belongs in to trash bags, I remember more and more of the night before, I remember people telling me what they we’re doing, I remember a small boy running up to me yelling “we found a place, its cool. “ following people up into the apartment. By then I didn’t care. This girl thought the world of me.
I win.
So it was what it was. I was lying on my belly half naked in the bed of some guy I met about 7 hours before. Who does this, how did I get here? What’s this guys name? I just kept repeating in the back of my head.
I remember looking up at the clock, blinking reds hurt my eyes after a long enough night. It was blinking 4:00am, more then likely it was wrong and I didn’t care. All I knew was I needed to get back from where I came from. Wait, where did I start?
I just wanted to remember.
On my back now smoking a cigarette just starring at the ceiling trying to get lost, trying to not think about the man staring right at me. Trying to think, how did this get started?
The City was Grand Rapids. I knew this; the time was way too early in the morning. I don’t think I slept, maybe I did? That didn’t matter, I just need to collect my things and get right out of that house.
I looked at the boy, right in the eyes. He had bright blue eyes, I could see why I ended where I ended. I asked him where the bathroom was. As I got up I saw my pants and shirt lying on the ground right at the end of the bed. As I picked them up and put them on and my stomach started to turn. The boy looked at me and asked what was the matter. I looked at him and my face started to get tight. “I think I’m going to get sick” I sprinted to the bathroom, the boy followed. I slammed the door in his face. He must have heard the vomit from my mouth hit the water, because he asked if I needed anything in between it. I only asked for a glass of water. I just wanted to get out of that damn house.
Once I had myself as clean as I could get, I walked out of the bathroom. I started apologizing to the blue-eyed boy. I don’t think he cared that much. He handed me a bottled water. I grabbed my backpack and started walking toward the door. The boy was still in boxers didn’t seem to know what to make of me. Just strange looks. I said, “I’m sorry” and walked out the door Outside, I noticed the sun was coming up.
I knew where I was, and I know I had a long walk ahead of me. Slowly but surely, I started remembering the walk back with the boy. The feeling of being loved. Wondering if I’d ever get anything like that again. Knowing myself, I was sure I would.
I recognized a white house, an old friends house. I wasn’t even sure if the person still lived there, but I walked up and knocked anyways. Timothy Richards. As soon as he opened the door he started laughing, “I knew I was going to see you this morning.”
I could tell he also had a long night. He invited me in for coffee with him and his girlfriend Lisa. Walking in a home is different then walking into a house. When you walk into a house, you don’t have to take off your shoes and some people never even take off their jacket. This, on the other hand, was a home-plus bikes. Although there was a bike in the living room, you knew you still had to take off you shoes. I didn’t have a problem with. This I actually prefer homes to houses. Lisa knew how to keep people in line; it was a nice place to be.
After telling Timothy and Lisa most of what I remember. Two cups of coffee and a little inspiration from both of them, I went on my way to figure out what really happened last night. I started to remember little clues from the night before, faces the color of cups, the size of fires. I checked out my phone, to see the last phone call’s. It looks like I made about 3 calls the night before. One to Josh Crocker, one to Daniel, and one to a number I didn’t recognize 616-552-8858, and who ever that was, was the winner of the first phone call of the day.
I wasn’t nervous until the phone started ringing. Turns out it was just an old friend that lived not too far away. So I walked to Mike’s house, the random number now had a name. So I was now one step closer to finding out what I really had done.
Once there he asked if I wanted to have a picnic. So now heading down town toward all the old fashioned remolded houses, the huge churches, all of the cars on the street just waiting getting hotter and hotter in the insides of them, people walking around with nothing but Ipod head phones in there ears not caring about anything but them self’s. I don’t care about them anyways. Trying to remember if I was down there at all the night before.
And just like a sign from God, Five Lyon. But any God interested in me is one messed up God, I say this only because I remember trashing this little apartment, taking one side of a old futon bed and tossing it out the balcony. As soon as I saw half of the crap on the street. I started laughing. More and more random images starting running threw my head. I started telling Mike about it.
“Well, damn, turns out you did have a good time after all.” He said. I started rambling. “We have to go up there, I have to talk to whosever’s place this is and ask them everything, like, who I was with?”
Once up there I knew where almost everything was, it was strange to think I took part in a complete riot. A girl answered the door. Let’s just say she looked like she was in misery. I concentrated on the things behind her. It looked like everything was shook off the walls; you could see where the pictures used to be in the hallway, but they were lying on the ground, all of the glass shattered. It looked like a hammer had blasted into each of them. I remember walking down the hall. I could almost hear the sounds of a hammer hitting each of the pictures. The worst part was that I did not remember the girl.
I look at the woman “is there anything we could do, we can help you clean this madness up?” For the first time I took a look right into her eyes. Her eyes where throbbing red, as she look up, her eyes just had a shine, the tear started swelling up and almost poured out. This woman had her home destroyed. She had no idea I took a part in this.
The woman looked at me. “I would like that very much.” Her eyes were those of a lost ten year old in a carnival.
I asked her name, Her name was Janet.
As I started to walk through Janet’s home, I started remember all the people, the coffee mugs that the kids were holding. I started to remember placement of people standing. Walking in to the kitchen where I people were pouring shot after shot of whiskey. I wanted to start vomiting. This girl had no idea. I started to ask what happened.
She backed up against the wall and fell straight down to her keens. These tears were not fake, these tears had more sadness, more anger, more hatred I have ever heard in my life. “Two days” she said in a small voice, “two Goodman days” she started to shout. Her tears got heaver. She started to explain, “I moved in a week ago. I went home for 2 days, I haven’t met anyone in this damn building.” She couldn’t look at Mike or I in the eyes. At first I felt terrible. Then after a while I felt like her saint, the person helping this girl out, I one person that stopped and noticed I just made this girl day a little bit brighter. made this girls nightmare come true, and I’m here to save the day.
Nothing mattered at all other then what this girl thought. She thought I was her bright and shining star. Mike had to go to work. I walked him to work, I told him what I was doing. His reply was “You’re one sick person, you know that?” By this time I didn’t care I smiled and kept walking back to Janet’s place. Once there we picked up most everything, as I was putting all of her belongs in to trash bags, I remember more and more of the night before, I remember people telling me what they we’re doing, I remember a small boy running up to me yelling “we found a place, its cool. “ following people up into the apartment. By then I didn’t care. This girl thought the world of me.
I win.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
THIS GUYS GOT JOKES!
Remember red heads story
I met a red head once; he was sitting in my apartment. I figured he was waiting for my roommate. I just had gotten out of work. I said “hello boy.” And went straight to my room. When I walked back out, he was still sitting there waiting. I walked over to my freezer and took out a bottle, I looked at him with no words raised my eyebrows and he asked, “Is that a offer”. I said “ apparently”. I opened the bottle of cheep whiskey and pored it straight in to a glass. As I was pouring it I asked his name and why he was there, His name was Ryan, and I was right he was there for my roommate.
We started talking about music, movies and things I just cant remember. Maybe for the fact we both just kept poring drinks. Once my roommate was home, he found two drunks half passed out on our couch.
We just wanted wake up. ”Why not a walk” I say. We stated walking. We being just Ryan and I my roommate wanted to stay in. This is about the time Ryan stated talking about Jesus. Not just a raging alcoholic but he’s a Jesus freak. I ask him “ So you think you’ll get forgiven for everything you’ve done, right? And I’m the one going to hell? Right after that, I shut my mouth. He started ranting about God, the hymns, “he’s coming he’s coming.” He stated shouting. Right then he fell to his knees and started vomiting. I walked away from him went home and fell asleep quite sound. The next morning I heard about the body found dead in the street.
I met a red head once; he was sitting in my apartment. I figured he was waiting for my roommate. I just had gotten out of work. I said “hello boy.” And went straight to my room. When I walked back out, he was still sitting there waiting. I walked over to my freezer and took out a bottle, I looked at him with no words raised my eyebrows and he asked, “Is that a offer”. I said “ apparently”. I opened the bottle of cheep whiskey and pored it straight in to a glass. As I was pouring it I asked his name and why he was there, His name was Ryan, and I was right he was there for my roommate.
We started talking about music, movies and things I just cant remember. Maybe for the fact we both just kept poring drinks. Once my roommate was home, he found two drunks half passed out on our couch.
We just wanted wake up. ”Why not a walk” I say. We stated walking. We being just Ryan and I my roommate wanted to stay in. This is about the time Ryan stated talking about Jesus. Not just a raging alcoholic but he’s a Jesus freak. I ask him “ So you think you’ll get forgiven for everything you’ve done, right? And I’m the one going to hell? Right after that, I shut my mouth. He started ranting about God, the hymns, “he’s coming he’s coming.” He stated shouting. Right then he fell to his knees and started vomiting. I walked away from him went home and fell asleep quite sound. The next morning I heard about the body found dead in the street.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Oi Oi Oi
“Your not cool, you just know what not to say”
You not cool; you just know what not to say.
The phrase I couldn’t get out of me head for months.
What makes people so mysterious?
That’s it.
Nothing
I’ve heard you say your better then no one,
And no one is better then you.
You’re the best
What make’s people come back?
Not saying everything
Only letting them in just enough.
Your not cool, you just know what not to say.
You not cool; you just know what not to say.
The phrase I couldn’t get out of me head for months.
What makes people so mysterious?
That’s it.
Nothing
I’ve heard you say your better then no one,
And no one is better then you.
You’re the best
What make’s people come back?
Not saying everything
Only letting them in just enough.
Your not cool, you just know what not to say.
Friday, May 8, 2009
chng;lfjkgfj
The Onion.
"WASHINGTON--Taking advantage of the warm spring weather Monday, Vice President Joe Biden parked his 1981 Trans Am in the White House driveway, removed his undershirt, and spent a leisurely afternoon washing the muscle car and drinking beer.Vice President Biden ditched a day of presiding over the Senate to "give the twin cannons some sun.""This baby just needs a little scrub down," said Biden, addressing a tour group as he tucked the sweat-covered top into the belt loop of his cutoff jean shorts. "Gotta get her looking good so I can impress the chicks when I'm cruising down Pennsylvania [Avenue]."White House aides said that Biden pulled into the driveway shortly before noon, the chorus of Night Ranger's "(You Can Still) Rock In America" blaring from his car's stereo."
"WASHINGTON--Taking advantage of the warm spring weather Monday, Vice President Joe Biden parked his 1981 Trans Am in the White House driveway, removed his undershirt, and spent a leisurely afternoon washing the muscle car and drinking beer.Vice President Biden ditched a day of presiding over the Senate to "give the twin cannons some sun.""This baby just needs a little scrub down," said Biden, addressing a tour group as he tucked the sweat-covered top into the belt loop of his cutoff jean shorts. "Gotta get her looking good so I can impress the chicks when I'm cruising down Pennsylvania [Avenue]."White House aides said that Biden pulled into the driveway shortly before noon, the chorus of Night Ranger's "(You Can Still) Rock In America" blaring from his car's stereo."
Monday, May 4, 2009
fuck lou reed.
Waltzing Matilda whipped out her wallet
The sexy boy smiled in dismay
She took out four twenties cause she liked round figures
Everybody's a queen for a day
Oh, babe, I'm on fire and you know how I admire your body, why don't we slip away
Although I'm sure you're certain, its a rarity me flirtin'
Sha-la-la-la, this way
Oh, sha-la-la-la-la, sha-la-la-la-la
Hey, baby, come on, lets slip away
Luscious and gorgeous, oh what a humpin' muscle
Call out the national guard
She creamed in her jeans as he picked up her knees
From off of the formica topped bar
And cascading slowly, he lifted her wholly
And boldly out of this world
And despite peoples derision
Proved to be more than diversion
Sha-la-la-la, later on
And then sha-la-la-la-la, he entered her slowly
And showed her where he was coming from
And then sha-la-la-la-la, he made love to her gently
It was like she'd never ever come
And then sha-la-la-la-la, sha-la-la-la-la
When the sun rose and he made to leave
You know, sha-la-la-la-la, sha-la-la-la-la
Neither one regretted a thing
Hey, that cunt's not breathing
I think she's had too much
Of something or other, hey, man, you know what I mean
I don't mean to scare you
But you're the one who came here
And you're the one who's gotta take her when you leave
I'm not being smart
Or trying to be cold on my part
And I'm not gonna wear my heart on my sleeve
But you know people get all emotional
And sometimes, man, they just don't act rational
They think they're just on TV
Sha-la-la-la, man
Why don't you just slip her away
You know, I'm glad that we met man
It really was nice talking
And I really wish that there was a little more time to speak
But you know it could be a hassle
Trying to explain myself to a police officer
About how it was that your old lady got herself stiffed
And its not like we could help
But there was nothing no one could do
And if there was, man, you know I would have been the first
But when someone turns that blue
Well, its a universal truth
And then you just know that bitch will never fuck again
By the way, that's really some bad shit
That you came to our place with
But you ought to be more careful around the little girls
It's either the best or its the worst
And since I don't have to choose
I guess I won't and I know this ain't no way to treat a guest
But why don't you grab your old lady by the feet
And just lay her out on the darkened street
And by morning, shes just another hit and run
You know, some people got no choice
And they cant never find a voice
To talk with that they can even call their own
So the first thing that they see
That allows them the right to be
Why they follow it, you know, it's called bad luck
Believe me, that it's just a lie
That's what she tells her friends
cause the real song, the real song
Which she won't even admit to herself
Beat of a heart, the song lots of people know
It's a painful song
It'll only say the truth
It lasts for sad songs
Penny for a wish
A wish wont make you a soldier
A pretty kiss or a pretty face
Can't have it's way
The tramps like us, we were born to pay
Love is gone away
And there's no one here now
And there's nothing left to say
But, oh, how I miss him, baby
Oh, baby, come on and slip away
Come on, baby, why don't you slip away
Love is gone away
Took the rings off my fingers
And theres nothing left to say
But, oh how, oh how I need him, baby
Come on, baby, I need you baby
Oh, please don't slip away
I need your loving so bad, babe
Please don't slip away
The sexy boy smiled in dismay
She took out four twenties cause she liked round figures
Everybody's a queen for a day
Oh, babe, I'm on fire and you know how I admire your body, why don't we slip away
Although I'm sure you're certain, its a rarity me flirtin'
Sha-la-la-la, this way
Oh, sha-la-la-la-la, sha-la-la-la-la
Hey, baby, come on, lets slip away
Luscious and gorgeous, oh what a humpin' muscle
Call out the national guard
She creamed in her jeans as he picked up her knees
From off of the formica topped bar
And cascading slowly, he lifted her wholly
And boldly out of this world
And despite peoples derision
Proved to be more than diversion
Sha-la-la-la, later on
And then sha-la-la-la-la, he entered her slowly
And showed her where he was coming from
And then sha-la-la-la-la, he made love to her gently
It was like she'd never ever come
And then sha-la-la-la-la, sha-la-la-la-la
When the sun rose and he made to leave
You know, sha-la-la-la-la, sha-la-la-la-la
Neither one regretted a thing
Hey, that cunt's not breathing
I think she's had too much
Of something or other, hey, man, you know what I mean
I don't mean to scare you
But you're the one who came here
And you're the one who's gotta take her when you leave
I'm not being smart
Or trying to be cold on my part
And I'm not gonna wear my heart on my sleeve
But you know people get all emotional
And sometimes, man, they just don't act rational
They think they're just on TV
Sha-la-la-la, man
Why don't you just slip her away
You know, I'm glad that we met man
It really was nice talking
And I really wish that there was a little more time to speak
But you know it could be a hassle
Trying to explain myself to a police officer
About how it was that your old lady got herself stiffed
And its not like we could help
But there was nothing no one could do
And if there was, man, you know I would have been the first
But when someone turns that blue
Well, its a universal truth
And then you just know that bitch will never fuck again
By the way, that's really some bad shit
That you came to our place with
But you ought to be more careful around the little girls
It's either the best or its the worst
And since I don't have to choose
I guess I won't and I know this ain't no way to treat a guest
But why don't you grab your old lady by the feet
And just lay her out on the darkened street
And by morning, shes just another hit and run
You know, some people got no choice
And they cant never find a voice
To talk with that they can even call their own
So the first thing that they see
That allows them the right to be
Why they follow it, you know, it's called bad luck
Believe me, that it's just a lie
That's what she tells her friends
cause the real song, the real song
Which she won't even admit to herself
Beat of a heart, the song lots of people know
It's a painful song
It'll only say the truth
It lasts for sad songs
Penny for a wish
A wish wont make you a soldier
A pretty kiss or a pretty face
Can't have it's way
The tramps like us, we were born to pay
Love is gone away
And there's no one here now
And there's nothing left to say
But, oh, how I miss him, baby
Oh, baby, come on and slip away
Come on, baby, why don't you slip away
Love is gone away
Took the rings off my fingers
And theres nothing left to say
But, oh how, oh how I need him, baby
Come on, baby, I need you baby
Oh, please don't slip away
I need your loving so bad, babe
Please don't slip away
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